“It is not the answers you give that matters, but the questions you ask”. It is not a coincidence that Voltaire, French philosopher and writer, appreciate questions asked more than answers. Think about it yourself. Whom you would consider smart in a room full of people or in a conversation? The person who knows everything and talks non-stop? Or the quiet person who does not interrupt and listens carefully, except to ask an interesting question? My answer is the second one.

For me, people who are able to ask smart questions by looking at the issues from different angles, are more respectable, rather than “know-all” types who only tries to prove how much they know and does not listen. But whom smart people ask the most questions? Of course, to people smarter and more experienced than themselves, in other words, people they consider mentors that can guide them through their journey, be it personal or professional.

And in this article, I will suggest you 3 questions people usually ask to their “mentors”, and why specifically these questions may yield the results you wish for and help you to go further in your life. (P.S. you will see many quotes I chose from people I admire).

LinkedIn has an interview series called “Career Advice from Some of the Biggest Names in Business” where C-suite executives, celebrities and other people who are considered successful by many people from different areas answers the question of “What someone needs to do to be you?”. That question helps to uncover what it took for these people to reach where they are now.

Most people find out what they want to do in life after seeing someone actually doing it. How many times you have seen or known someone that works for a big firm in large plazas like Port Baku, Demirchi Tower and it occurred to you that you would like to be like them? Or you saw someone who works from home, has a lot of time to spend with family and friends, and you wished you were in their place? You may wish, but how to take action? Ask them. Ask them how did they get there? Where did they start? What skills (both soft and technical) are required for their specific career paths? What sacrifices they had to make?

These are very important guiding questions that would give the you a starting point to find your own route. Maybe you will change your mind after hearing about what happens in the background of what you see, or you will be encouraged to start and be one of them.

One of my mottos is “Not everything you lose, is a loss”. There are many things in life we may consider important at one point, take it very seriously, worry about it, but when we look back, we see that we just exaggerated the event/idea/person.

As a young person, or someone starting a new path in your life, while you are living those moments, you may not be able to decide what is really essential and what is not, without living and seeing yourself, but you can ask your mentor as a trusted guide-“What is something you thought was important but has turned out not to be?”.

As mentor you chose for yourself will already have lived through the path you are planning to go, he/she can tell from their experience what kind of things will not have a huge impact on your life, contrary to what you believe.

For instance, take Jim Carrey, famous and rich American actor. He once said that “I think everybody should get rich and famous and do everything they ever dreamed of so they can see that it’s not the answer.” As a rich and famous person, he already lived the dream of many people and found out that what they see as the “answer”, and consider it as an ultimate goal in life, is not what will make them happy or successful. And if you have other goals, you think is a key point of your life and make you happy, take a chance and ask someone who has attained this goal to find out if it is really what you think it is.

I firmly believe that everyone has a “why” in this life, but most people don’t know theirs. Why you were born specifically in your family? Why do you love this music? Why do you have a strong memory or painting skills? I think all things, both strengths and weaknesses, that makes the person unique serves to a greater purpose in his/her life. Nature knows what exactly the individuals needs to reach its potential and provides you with those things.

I read somewhere that “God sends us the people we need, not people we want”. You may not love some people, or you may have temporary people in your life who will come, play their role and goal. But to find your “why “is not easy.  And when I see people who has found theirs, I ask them “What was the process you used to find your ‘why’?”. Getting ideas about how your mentor, whose current life you consider similar to your dreams, found out their “why”, may help you to find yours as well.

I am the laziest person most people have seen. I count the steps required to go somewhere so that I can choose the shortest route, organize my work schedule so that I don’t have to do something twice (God forbid third time), I would even prefer to starve in my room rather than going to the kitchen and cooking something.

As I heard from people over the years, I considered this trait as a weakness, but when I read Bill Gates’ quote “I choose a lazy person to do a hard job. Because a lazy person will find an easy way to do it”, I realized that actually, it is true. Laziness is not my weakness, but strength. I can think of shortcuts hard working people never thought of and it helps me solve problems faster than many people. This quote got me several steps closer to my why and surely asking other people how they found theirs, will take you to closer to yours.

These were 3 questions that I believe are important and worth knowing about someone you admire and influenced by. Asking about both their mistakes and successes, will paint you clearer picture of what you will encounter if you follow their path and repeat their actions. You have to know what they did wrong, as well as, what they did right, not to repeat their mistakes. After all, you must learn from the mistakes of others as you will not live long enough to make them all yourself.